Season 5

Story lines are starting to converge. Tyrion and Varys are in Essos, near Daenerys, Stannis, Davos, and Melisandre are at the Wall with Jon Snow and Mance Rayder, and Brienne and Podrick are closing in on Sansa in the Vale.

Season 5—Episode 1: The Wars to Come

I’m the maaan in the box. Well, not anymore. Tyrion and Varys have made it to Pentos. Varys talks about backing the best candidate for king of Westeros, but perhaps it’s a queen. “Who said anything about him? You have a choice, my friend. You can stay here at Illyrio’s palace and drink yourself to death, or you can ride with me to Meereen, meet Daenerys Targaryen, and decide if the world is worth fighting for.”

At the Wall, Stannis offers a pardon to Mance if he’ll bend the knee and commit his people to Stannis’s cause. It’s not a terrible plan, Stannis needs warm bodies, but he should know by now that Mance won’t kneel. Mance declines and Melisandre burns him alive. Before the screams become too much to bear, Jon ends his torture with an arrow.

I wish you good fortune in the wars to come.

Who Won the Week

Varys. I guess? There weren’t a lot of options this episode, but Varys has made progress in his quest to do the right thing for the kingdom. He realizes his mistakes, that he has backed the wrong people, and is willing ro make changes along the way.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“Everyone wants to know their future… until they know their future.” — Maggy the Frog

Character Deaths

Mance Rayder—Burned alive…and shot with an arrow

Future Omens

Littlefinger gets a mysterious letter in the Vale.

Lancel Lannister’s appearance as a devout follower of the Sparrows.

The prophecy of Maggy the Frog. These words from Cersei’s childhood inform basically ALL of her decisions from this moment forward, despite her lack of understanding of their true meaning. “You’ll never wed the Prince. You’ll wed the King. Oh yes, you’ll be queen…for a time. Then comes another, younger, more beautiful, to cast you down and take all you hold dear. No. The King will have twenty children, and you will have three. Gold will be their crowns, gold their shrouds.”

 

Season 5—Episode 2: The House of Black and White

Arya has arrived at the House of Black and White! Aaaaaaand they won’t let her in.

Near Winterfell, more paths cross as Pod and Brienne run into Sansa and Littlefinger at an inn. I feel like as good as Brienne is at fighting, she’s still a blunt instrument. She sees a fight and goes charging in, damn the consequences. That’s why having Pod around to caution her is a good thing. He can’t fight, but he’s been with Tyrion long enough to know how the game is played. Also, let’s talk about how Brienne has now found Arya and Sansa…and lost them both.

And hello Dorne! Not gonna lie, this is the beginning of quite a slog. I love the characters of Prince Doran, the Sand Snakes, etc. but the entire Dorne story line seems a bit…lost? Like, they intended to follow the books, but also, let’s wedge a Jamie and Bronn plot in there as well? Oh and condense the Sand Snakes from seven to three, and give them weird fighting skills.

Long live, Areo Hotah.

Who Won the Week

Sam. Sure Jon gets the nomination for Lord Commander, but Sam is the one who nominated him, and for Sam that was HUGE. He showed bravery in speaking out, and more bravery in verbally smacking down Lord Janos.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“Nothing’s worth anything to dead men.” — Arya

Character Deaths

None.

Future Omens

“You have no idea what people will do.” You’re right, Selyse, she doesn’t. WHAT WILL YOU DO.

Jon becoming Lord Commander is a bit of a blessing and a curse.

 

Season 5—Episode 3: High Sparrow

It’s…another wedding in Westeros! How many is that now, four? Of course, most of them are Margaery’s. Say yes to the dress, girl.

In Winterfell, we have ANOTHER wedding planned. This one is Littlefinger’s doing. He’s marrying Sansa to Ramsay Bolton to help secure a hold on the north. Can we just skip this entire story line? Literally nothing good comes from it.

“Yes, Pod, he liked men. I’m not an idiot.” Brienne’s story about being teased and picked on while growing up, informs so much about her character. Why she’s so loyal and honorable, why she chose to fight, and why she’s so damn good at it.

And after teasing us with the fanatical arm of the Faith a few episodes ago, we’re finally introduced to the Faith Militant, and the High Sparrow. They hold an incredibly stringent view of their tenets, and use violence and shame against those who break them; dragging the High Septon out of a brothel to be flogged in the streets. Cersei thinks she has the measure of the High Sparrow. She does not.

Who Won the Week

Arya. Or should I say, No One.  She gives up all of the things that made her Arya Stark in order to begin her training as a Faceless Man. All but Needle.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“Take Lord Janos outside. Olly, bring me my sword.” — Jon Snow

Character Deaths

Janos Slynt—Edd, fetch me a block

Future Omens

“Welcome home, Lady Stark. The North remembers.” The first time we hear this bit of dialogue in regards to revenge for the Red Wedding. It won’t be the last.

Tyrion and Varys see a Red Priestess in Volantis. That thread didn’t really go anywhere.

 

Season 5—Episode 4: Sons of the Harpy

Jamie and Bronn road trip!! I mean, Cooper and Darnell.

“Perhaps the gods need a sword of their own.” And with that, Cersei re-arms the Faith Militant. Moron. Like a scene from The Untouchables, we smash cut to the pious destroying casks of ale, breaking up brothels…and arresting Loras Tyrell.

In Mereen, the revolution is apparently occurring because the slaves and former fighters want Dany to reopen the fighting pits. I won’t lie, I have a real problem with the Sons of the Harpy uprising. Sure, the Unsullied are more suited for field combat and not close-quarters fighting, but they’re still easily heads and shoulders above a mob of common people. Just a few episodes ago, Grey Worm, Jorah, and Daario fought and killed over 30 Yunkish soldiers, but now Grey Worm a handful of Unsullied, AND SER BARRISTAN can’t handle a dozen random dudes in gold masks? Boo. “Go, Ser Barristan, sing a song for me.”

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

The Sons of the Harpy. Apparently they learned guerilla tactics overnight and can easily handle a squadron of Unsullied, so they win the week.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“My mother wept, said I was too young and a girl. Oberyn tossed his spear at my feet and said, ‘Girl or boy, we fight our battles but the Gods let us choose our weapons.'” — Obara Sand

Character Deaths

Barristan Selmy—Killed by the Sons of the Harpy, gone too soon

Future Omens

Littlefinger and Sansa in the crypts at Winterfell. This one is huge, and basically points to the largest unanswered question in the entire show. How many tens of thousands had to die because Rhaegar chose your aunt?

The North will be yours.”

 

Season 5—Episode 5: Kill the Boy

At the Wall, Jon knows what needs to be done, he’s just trying to work up the courage. He means to let the wildlings through the Wall and give them land to settle in the south. He may be the only one in the seven kingdoms who knows where the REAL battle lies, and what he’ll have to do to prepare.

Apparently Stannis knows what’s coming too. He questions Sam about what they need to do to prepare for the invastion, and charges him with helping to figure it out. “Keep reading, Samwell Tarly.” And with that, Stannis and his entire army depart the Wall for Winterfell.

In Mereen, Dany agrees to not only open the fighting pits, but to marry Hizdar zo Loraq. And on the other side of the continent, her friend-zoned buddy Jorah is taking Tyrion through the ruins of old Valyria. There’s a LOT about old Valyria that the show leaves out, but before our history lesson can continue, STONE MEN!!

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

Jon. For now. Giving Tormund his freedom and tasking him with bringing all of the wildlings south for protection behind the Wall was the right thing to do. It’s better to have them alive and protected, than to have them resurrected as a part of the Night King’s army. Of course, no one agrees with him, and they’ll eventually kill him for it.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“Kill the boy, Jon Snow. Winter is almost upon us. Kill the boy and let the man be born.” — Maester Aemon

Character Deaths

None.

Future Omens

“A Targaryen alone in the world is a terrible thing” and the camera immediately cuts to Jon. I wonder what that could mean.

Stannis casually mentions they have dragonglass at Dragonstone.

 

Season 5—Episode 6: Unbowed, Unbent, Unbroken

A girl is learning to be No One. Unfortunately she’s not very good at it. But she’s learning. And in the catacombs beneath the House of Black and White? The Hall of Faces!! Spooky.

In King’s Landing, it’s hilarious to see Cersei feverishly writing while pretending to be too busy to speak with Olenna. It’s funny because that’s what Tywin always did, but Cersei isn’t doing it as a power move, she’s just mimicking her father…and she sucks at it. “Put the pen down, dear, we both know you aren’t writing anything.”

At the hearing, Loras is arrested, and Maragery is taken into custody. Cersei smirks as only she can, but Tywin and Tyrion were right, she’s not as smart as she thinks she is.

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

Cersei. Albeit clumsily. She manages to drive a wedge between Margaery and Tommen, as well as inflict petty revenge, by jailing Margaery. And she thinks she’s incredibly clever by having the High Sparrow be the one with blood on his hands. She’ll soon learn.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“I didn’t trust your father. I didn’t particularly like him but I respected him. He was no fool. He understood that sometimes we must work with our rivals rather than destroy them.” — Olenna Tyrell

Character Deaths

None.

Future Omens

Not so much a future omen, as much as a link to the past, but it was sad to see Jorah learning about his father’s death. They were certainly estranged, but you can see the loss regardless.

 

Season 5—Episode 7: The Gift

“His name was Aemon Targaryen. He came to us from King’s Landing. A Maester of the Citadel, chained and sworn, and sworn Brother of the Night’s Watch, ever faithful. No man was wiser, or gentler or kinder. At the Wall, a dozen Lord Commanders came and went during his years of service but he was always there to counsel them. He was the blood of the Dragon… but now his fire has gone out. And now his Watch is ended.” This was a tough loss for Sam, and for us as viewers. Aemon represented the last of his generation of Targaryens, and now only Daenerys remains. Probably.

Times are tough in the Baratheon camp. Soldiers are deserting, horses are dying, what is there to do? Oh I know, I’ll sacrifice my daughter to the fire and the Red God.

You know what, let’s talk about Stannis. He let Melisandre kill any of his people who followed the Seven, including his own relatives, and he directed her to assassinate his brother through magic. He led a failed invasion on King’s Landing and lost a third of his fleet. Almost the entire remainder of his forces either deserted or died outside Winterfell. He sacrificed his daughter, which led to his wife’s suicide. And for what? Literally nothing. He just…dies. That seems like poor storytelling to me.

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

The High Sparrow. In the last episode he asserted his power by arresting Loras and Margaery, and this episode he denies the requests of Lady Olenna, AND arrests Cersei for adultery an incest. He’s not seeking power, but he certainly has it.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“A life of wealth and privilege has left you blind in one eye – you are the few, we are the many, and when the many stop fearing the few..” — The High Sparrow

Character Deaths

Maester Aemon—Old age. We shall never see his like.

Future Omens

When Tommen says he loves Margaery, you can see the veins in Cersei’s neck twinge.

“Look at me. Look at my face. It’s the last thing you’ll see before you die.” She’s not wrong.

 

Season 5—Episode 8: Hardhome

Undercover Cat of the Canals. Oysters, clams, and cockles!! Speaking of which

I know this season seems like a slog, but one of the strengths of Game of Thrones is “people talking in rooms.” The Dany and Tyrion scene in the pyramid is another one of those great scenes. Both taking measure of one another, both highlighting their strengths; Tyrion as a tactician and scholar, and Daenerys as a ruler. Meanwhile, in the North…

Hardhome.

Damn.

Jon heads north to treat with the wildlings. “This is about putting a 700 foot wall between you, and what’s out there.” Jon knows the best chance humanity has is for everyone to work together. And he’s right, because here they come. Hardhome is where we get the first real look at the fate of the living. Hundreds and thousands of undead wights, led by at least four White Walkers and the Night King. Oh, and he can immediately raise the dead. Cool.

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

The Night King. He “lost” a battle, and effectively doubled the size of his fighting force.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“Lannister, Targaryen, Baratheon, Stark, Tyrell they’re all just spokes on a wheel. This ones on top, then that ones on top and on and on it spins crushing those on the ground. I’m not going to stop the wheel, I’m going to break the wheel.” — Daenerys

Character Deaths

Lord of Bones—Smashed by Tormund

Future Omens

Olly doesn’t seem to be too happy about Jon’s choice to let the wildlings through the gate.

 

Season 5—Episode 9: The Dance of Dragons

The series tradition of the ninth episode of the season being the biggest, continues. Hardhome was amazing, but…DRAGON PIT.

Things aren’t looking good in the Baratheon camp north of Winterfell. Ramsay’s squad wreaked havoc overnight and killed most of their horses. “Forgive me, Your Grace, I never claimed to be an expert in military matters. But if we can’t march forward, and we won’t march back…” Well Davos, I think he has a plan, but you’re not gonna like it. Shireen didn’t deserve this. And I’ll never forgive Stannis for this.

The action begins in the fighting pit! Dany opened them to appease the Sons of the Harpy, but they are not appeased. They arise from the crowds and start killing everyone in sight. They force our heoes to the center of the fighting pit, and it looks like all is lost. Dany grabs Missandei’s hand and waits for her inevitable fate. As the crowd of Harpys close in…IS THAT DROGON’S MUSIC I HEAR?!?! Dragons are the nuclear option, and Drogon sweeps in and literally vaporizes the threats. Before the Harpys can win, Dany hops on Drogon and the two fly off. Side note: This was one of the best scenes in the entire book series, and I was looking forward to seeing it on screen.

We’re not talking about Dorne.

Who Won the Week

Drogon. No one said it had to be a person who wins the week. Drogon’s last second save kept his mother from harm, and I can’t imagine a win more deserving.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Stannis Baratheon

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“It’s easy to confuse what is with what ought to be, especially when what is has worked out in your favor.” — Tyrion

Character Deaths

Shireen Baratheon—Damn you, Stannis

Hizdahr zo Loraq—Stabbed by the Harpys, you won’t be missed

Future Omens

Dany can ride dragons now.

 

Season 5—Episode 10: Mother’s Mercy

“Speak up. It can’t be worse than mutiny.” Oh, but it can. Stannis’s men deserted him, his wife hanged herself, and Melisandre deserted him. He marches on Winterfell and gets smashed by the Bolton mounted men. And then, in the woods outside Winterfell, Brienne exacts her revenge. You deserve it, you absolute turd.

In the East, Mereen is without her Queen, and no one knows where Dany is. They agree to leave Tyrion, Missandei, and Grey Worm in charge, while Jorah and Daario go out to search for her. It seems Drogon is too injured to fly, and Dany has been abducted by a roaming khalasar. More on that later.

In King’s Landing, apparently confession isn’t enough for Cersei. There will be a trial, but before that…atonement. Y’all know you’re creating a monster, right? SHAME. SHAME. SHAME.

And, after all these years, Jon is finally going to be reunited with Benje…aw shit. CAESAR’D. For the Watch.

We’re not talking about…okay, fine, we’ll talk about Dorne. We’re finally leaving there.

Who Won the Week

Brienne? I guess? There was a LOT of losing this week. Jon and Stannis lost their lives, Arya lost her sight, Jamie lost his daughter, Cersei lost her clothes; only Brienne won by killing thr man who killed her king.

Who’s in Power

King Tommen of Houses Baratheon and Lannister

Balon Greyjoy

Best Quote

“I know what Ramsay is. I know what he’ll do to me. If I’m going to die, let it happen while there’s still some of me left.” — Sansa

Character Deaths

Selyse Baratheon—Hanged herself

Stannis Baratheon—Beheaded by Brienne

Miranda—Pushed off the parapets

Meryn Trant—Satisfactorily murdered by Arya

Myrcella Baratheon—Poisoned by Ellaria Sand

Jon Snow—Stabbed by the men of the Night’s Watch

Future Omens

Cersei’s “atonement” will be visited back upon the city tenfold.

 

Season 6!! For the Watch.