Season 7

Season 7 has a whole new feel. All of Cersei’s enemies are dead, and she alone rules Westeros. Jon and Sansa are finally back in control of Winterfell, and the remaining houses have all aligned with Daenerys, who’s sailing across the Narrow Sea with the Unsullied, and her khalasar.

Season 7—Episode 1: Dragonstone

“Tell them winter came for House Frey.” It sure did. After killing Lord Walder last season, Arya takes his face and kills the entire family. She’s…not the little girl we met way back when.

In King’s Landing, Cersei is looking for allies, and who should pop up but Euron Greyjoy. There’s a void in the show now where Joffrey and Ramsay used to be, and Euron is here to fill it. What a butt.

The glamorous life of becoming a maester: cleaning out pisspots, ladling soup, carrying books…Sam is really living it up. He longs for knowledge, but they’re not letting him have it. He’s basically the Daniel LaRusso of the Citadel. But there’s a lot to learn if he can just sneak some books away. Like learning about the dragonsglass under Dragonstone, or casually flipping past the Valyrian steel catspaw dagger…

We’re not talking about Ed Sheeran.

Who Won the Week

Daenerys. Holy hell, it’s amazing to see dragons above Dragonstone, and for the rightful heir to set foot on Westerosi sand and sit in the chair built by her ancestors. Amazing.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“No need to seize the last word Lord Baelish, I will assume it was something clever.” — Sansa

Character Deaths

No one.

Future Omens

This season is littered with “the Wall has always been around” talk.

 

Season 7—Episode 2: Stormborn

This season is a difficult one. It seems like most of the episodes are setups and expositions. Everything is on fast forward. The archmaester tells Sam there’s no cure for greyscale, Sam cures it in a few days. Euron’s fleet is magically everywhere it needs to be, when it needs to be there, and Cersei now has a deus ex machin…I mean, dragon killer?

“Prophecies are a tricky thing.” YA THINK? Melisandre’s had a long arc and I can’t say that it’s redemptive, but maybe she’s learning? More people joining up with Dany has to be a good thing. Of course, as soon as I say that, we get a room full of joiners who are bickering like hens. Greyjoys, Tyrells, Dornish, plus a Lannister and a Targaryen…all of these people were killing one another a few weeks ago.

But Tyrion’s plan to send the Greyjoys south to Dorne was apparently sniffed out by Euron? Because he shows up in an ambush. And can I just say, that battle was A MESS. Fire everywhere, missles…I’m pretty sure I had a seizure watching it.

And that moment when Arya finds out Jon is in Winterfell? *SNIFF*

Nymeria?

Who Won the Week

Cersei. Her pact with Euron has given her naval dominance, and she seems to be guessing Tyrion and Dany’s moves at every turn.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“The lords of Westeros are sheep. Are you a sheep? No. You’re a dragon. Be a dragon.” — Lady Olenna

Character Deaths

Obara Sand—Killed with her own spear

Nymeria Sand—Killed with her own whip

Future Omens

Jon standing in front of Lyanna’s grave, not knowing his heritage.

 

Season 7—Episode 3: The Queen’s Justice

Seeing Jon and Tyrion together again made me happy. Seeing Jon meet Daenerys made my heart melt. Fire and ice, kids. FIRE AND ICE.

Though that first meeting didn’t go well. The show really hammers home the importance of family legacy and dynasty, but also the necessity to BREAK that legacy. It’s the children of the high and mighty lords that see the problems with the way things are, and are the ones trying to CHANGE the world. Tyrion, Dany, Jon, Sam, they’re all trying to be better than their fathers.

Guys, Tyrion is 0 for 2 here, as his plan to send the Unsullied to take Casterly Rock is subverted. They take the castle with minial losses, but Euron shows up to destroy their fleet and strand them there. Because the majority of the Lannister forces were actually taking Highgarden. Robbing Highgarden is more like it. It’s a shakedown.

“Tell Cersei. I want her to know it was me.”

Who Won the Week

 Cersei. For every “L” that Tyrion gets, it’s coming from somewhere. Cersei gets the square.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“He really was a c**t, wasn’t he?” — Olenna Tyrell

Character Deaths

Tyene Sand—Poisoned by Cersei

Olenna Tyrell—Poisoned by Jamie

Future Omens

Jon says “I’m not a Stark” and Drogon flies right over his head.

“I’ve done my part. I’ve brought fire and ice together.” Melisandre leaves for Volantis with a promise to come back and die in Westeros. With Varys.

 

Season 7—Episode 4: The Spoils of War

Another Winterfell reuinion as Arya makes it home. I’m glad the sisters are back together, and they’ve both come so far in their own respective rights to return here. In seven seasons, Sansa has gone from being a starstruck teen to the literal woman of Winterfell, and Arya, who once only played at fighting, is now a trained assassin. Oh, and Bran is now a plank of wood.

LOOT TRAIN.

I feel like the appearance of Dany and Drogon literally and figuratively overshadowed the Dothraki. We’ve been told for years about how formidable they were in the field, and the only thing people remember is the dragon. The Dothraki were amazing. Fighting from horseback, unfazed and undistracted. Maybe because it’s non-traditional fighting style and I’ve seen armored dudes on horses my whole life, but I kinda wish we could have seen them more in battle.

Who Won the Week

Dany. She’s been beating around the bush for too long, playing clever. Now it’s time to play her strongest card.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“Flee, you idiot.” — Tyrion

Character Deaths

Like, every Lannister soldier—Dragon fire

Future Omens

Bit of any omen to see Drogon injured by the scorpion. We are being reminded that dragons aren’t invincible.

 

Season 7—Episode 5: The Spoils of War

After the battle, we see King Aerys…I mean, Daenery, looming over her defeated foes, offering them a choice. Kneel or die. Sounds reasonable. Cake or death?

Aaaaand Cersei’s pregnant with Jamie’s baby. Or is she? I’m smelling a Maury moment.

In the Citadel, Sam has graduated from cleaning poops to transferring scrolls, and none of the maesters will listen to his warning. Which is fair, since he LITERALLY IGNORES THE REVELATION OF JON’S PARENTAGE. Whatever. He steals more books, and leaves in the middle of the night.

At the Wall it’s reunions a-plenty!! Jon and the Hound, Gendry and the Brotherhood, Jorah and Beric, conflicts…between everyone. Just like the last reunions at Dragonstone, just a few weeks ago, all of the people were trying to kill one another. I guess undead invasions make for strange bedfellows.

Who Won the Week

Dany. She’s finally getting to show her strength, and she’s surrounded herself with the types of people who can act as a counterbalance to any of her potential madness.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“Thought you might still be rowing.” — Davos to Gendry

Character Deaths

Randall Tarly
Dickon Tarly—Roasted

Future Omens

The maesters really are blind to everything going on. They’re supposed to be the leading authority, but they’re really just old men who are quite stcuk in their ways. They do not believe in, or support magic.

 

Season 7—Episode 6: Beyond the Wall

Kids, kids, stop bickering!! Littlefinger’s plan to drive a wedge between Sansa and Arya is working. Sansa thinks of Arya as heartless, and Arya thinks Sansa is still a child. So for the story part, his plan is working. But from my standpoint, it’s not a believeable through line, and clearly a misdirect.

North of the Wall, we get some banter and we get some talking…and we get an undead bear. The heroes get some idea of what they’re up against…

…but then thr horde arrives. Thousands of wights chasing them to the center of a frozen lake. Good choice letting yourselves get surrounded like that, by the way. And while I can believe that there are thousands of ice zombies surrounding our heroes in the middle of a frozen lake, I’m supposed to believe that Gendry ran all the way back to the Wall, launched a raven, that raven flew to Daenerys at Dragonstone, and she then flew all the way BACK beyond the Wall, all while our dudes were just camped out for an afternoon?

Oh, and Viserion died.

And came back.

As an ice dragon.

Cool.

Who Won the Week

The Night King. It was a trap the entire time. He lured them there so he could steal a dragon. And it worked.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“Death is the enemy. The first enemy and the last. The enemy always wins, and we still need to fight him.” — Berric Dondarrion

Character Deaths

Thoros—Mauled by an undead bear

Viserion—Speared by the Night King

Benjen Stark—Sacrificed himself for Jon

Future Omens

“You want to know who’s going to sit on the Iron Throne after I die?” Tyrion is playing the long game, and Dany ain’t havin’ it. She’s tempermental and short-sighted…like her father.

Turns out, if you kill the main Walker, all the wights will die. That’s gotta come in handy.

 

Season 7—Episode 7: The Lion and the Wolf


Here we go. The last episode before season eight.

Practically everyone is meeting at the dragonpit in King’s Landing. Not for a showdown, but for a meeting. The remaining Lannisters, Greyjoys, Jon Snow, Daenerys, Brienne, The Mountain and The Hound…are we getting Clegane Bow…nah, just kidding.

Dany knows how to make an entrance though.

“There is only one war that matters, The Great War. And it is here.” Cersei looks shook. Euron looks shook. They’re playin’ you. Turns out, they have an agreement on the side. Euron is sailing back to Essos to hire The Golden Company.

Remember how I said that the Littlefinger scheme seemed thin? Welp. The ladies of Winterfell saw right through it and dusted him. And when Sam shows up, he and Bran form the Wonder Twins: knowledge of all human history, and all written history.

“His name is Aegon Targaryen.”

What a nice ending. Jon and Dany are together. Arya and Sansa are safe. The Wall is guarded by…aw shit. The army of the dead show up with their new toy, an undead ice dragon. And apparently Viserion can spit magic, blue fire that just vaporizes the Wall.

“Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!

Who Won the Week

Uhhh…the Night King. And we’re all screwed.

Who’s in Power

Queen Cersei Lannister

Euron Greyjoy

Jon Snow

Best Quote

“When the snows fall, and the white winds blow, the lone wolf dies, but the pack survives.” — Sansa

Character Deaths

Littlefinger—A new name, iced by Arya

Future Omens

At least Jon’s the true heir to the Iron Throne?